Tuesday, June 5, 2012

My Sacred Role

Wives have such a tremendous and important job in their households and, more specifically, with their husbands.  We, as wives, were designed by God to uplift, encourage, and strengthen our husbands physically (through touch), verbally (through our words), and spiritually (through prayer).  We have a choice to cripple them or build them up so that they can be the confident, strong spiritual leaders God designed them to be.

My role as an encouraging and nurturing wife was something I have struggled with when it comes to my attitude sometimes and the words I speak, but I didn't realize the impact that my role played on my husband until recently.  Looking back as I reflect on our marriage, I can remember times (even today) when my attitude, words, or actions toward my husband have been anything but pleasing to God.  My sin of negativity and lack of trust toward my husband is just as great of a sin as pornography, murder, adultery, lying, or any other sin that exists (James 4:17).

My husband is my best friend and I must always see him in that light.  It is easy, in day-to-day activities (especially if you have children) to begin to see your spouse as a business partner, with your house and family as your business.  It is easy to focus on situations, circumstances, jobs, and tasks rather than on God, each other, and your family.  When we take our focus off of God, that's when anger, bitterness, and resentment start to rise, tempers start to flare, and arguments begin to erupt between spouses.

God has given me specific roles and responsibilities that no one else can fulfill for my husband.  I am special and sacred to him, as my best friend and my spiritual leader.  One role is to encourage him through my words.  Proverbs 12:18 tells us that "reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."  With my words, I can either pierce my husband to death or use wisdom to speak words of healing and life.  I have noticed that when I am critical of him, he shuts down, and I don't blame him.  My criticism causes an attitude and mentality that he cannot measure up to my standards, so why try?  Nothing will be good enough anyway, and truthfully, that's the message that my words convey when I point out things that are wrong or when I don't speak words that encourage (Eph. 4:29).  I am implying that he is not good enough and that nothing he does will be right, whether I would like to admit that or not.

God designed men and women differently on purpose.  He wants us to be more like Him and better understand His relationship with His Bride, the Church and with each one of His children.  Women are natural mothers, wanting to nurture, correct, and guide our children, but when we behave that way toward our husbands, it can be detrimental.  Our husbands are not our children, they are our best friends and our life mates.  We are on the same team and when it comes to life, we are not to compete with one another, but to walk together, in unity (Philippians 2:2-4).  Ultimately, our husbands are our leaders and they can and will lead with the proper encouragement from their wives.  So, when I start to focus on my husband's negative behaviors, I have to check myself first because almost 100% of the time, he is acting that way because of me.

Through my husband, God has taught me to be more Christ-like.  He has taught me about the meaning of life, true relationships, and truly walking in the footsteps of Jesus.  My husband has been a constant companion when others would run away.  He has been a constant source of encouragement when others would find nothing positive about me.  He has been patient and kind, showing me what true love is according to 1 Corinthians.  There is no doubt that God placed my husband in my life purposefully and perfectly.  

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