God's Adventure

     God has put a desire in mine and my husband's heart for a while now, about 4 years (Psalm 37:4). During that time, we have prayed for it to come to pass, we have worked as hard as we can toward the goal that we feel God has called us to, and we have waited for God to “show up.” We still have no clear answer as to how God will accomplish His plan through us because the calling we feel looks impossible to fulfill in our lives at the moment. There is absolutely no humanly way possible for us to do what we feel like we're supposed to do. So, we're deciding to step out on faith.

     My husband and I proclaim to live a life of faith. It is our desire to follow God's lead and let Him do whatever He pleases with our lives. We want to live for His glory and His fame alone. We are nothing without Him and we have nothing without Him. He has brought us where we are; He is teaching us how to walk in faith; and, He has blessed us beyond measure. We are so undeserving of His love, faithfulness, and blessings, yet He pours them out on us day after day. Consequently, if we proclaim to live a life of faith, why are we waiting for the answer before we move? Why are we waiting until we feel “safe” to do what God has asked us to do? The life of a Christian isn't safe. We aren't called into safe territory or to make safe decisions all the time. An active Christian takes risks, just as Jesus took risks in His ministry. What is faith if we already have the answer before we take the step?

     We feel the calling on our lives so strongly and clearly, that it's more of a risk to not follow God's lead. Will we have enough money to do what we've been called to do? Will we have enough money to survive? Well, God promises that He will provide for His followers. Will we have what we want? Maybe not, but it's not about us and our wants. Our lives are about God's glory and accomplishing His will for His kingdom. To that end, I would rather fall following what we feel so clearly than fall because we refused to follow His lead just because it's not the “safe” answer. One day we will get to meet Him face to face and we will be held accountable for the decisions we made on this earth, so I want them to be pleasing in His sight.

     During the reign of King Darius, Daniel refused to bow down and pray to his earthly king, even though Darius declared a decree stating that if anyone prayed to any god or anyone other than King Darius, he would be thrown into a den of lions. Daniel knew he could die if he followed what he felt like God leading Him to do, what he knew was right, but he did it anyway. He followed God's lead and God rescued him from the hungry lions.

     Will God save us? If we're asking that question, then our hearts are not in the right place. Following God's callings is not about whether we will be safe or not; it's about whether God's will is accomplished or not. It's about having faith in a God Who promises He will never leave us or forsake us. Even if He doesn't save us or do what we “want” Him to do, He is still God and His ways, thoughts, and plans are perfect for His glory.

     I am so excited to see what God has in store for us as we take this walk of faith, God's adventure. I titled this post “God's Adventure” because it is all about Him, not us; He is the center of it, not us. We will keep you posted on what God is doing in our new adventure!

Social Injustice

What is our reaction when we see a dying puppy on the side of the road?  What do we do when we know that a child is being abused by a parent, peer, or someone else?  In the stands of an athletic game, would we cringe when a player is down on the ground and his opponent just keeps kicking or punching him, while he is defenseless to react?  I think we would all say that we would feel sympathy or even anger, we might cringe, or we might feel that justice needs to be done, but very few of us would actually do something about it.  We claim that we're too busy; we convince ourselves that we didn't really see it or it didn't actually happen; or, we say that we have our own families to take care of; it will be someone else's responsibility to respond to the injustice.

While the harshness of my reality does not even come close to the brutality of the scenarios listed above, the feelings I am experiencing as a victim are very similar.  I have been very harshly and crudely verbally abused for three years now by a person in my life from whom I cannot escape.  To my knowledge, this person is really my only enemy on this earth.  Unless I am just oblivious to people who do not like me, this is the only person who, I believe, really hates me.  I can literally see the hatred burning in her eyes, actions, and attitudes, and I can hear it in her voice.  She is as mean as a snake to anyone with whom she chooses to be that way.  She literally has no care for people's feelings or opinions.  She believes that if someone's actions warrant wrath, then that person deserves whatever wrath she can dish out.  She will continue to unleash her wrath as many times as necessary until her desired outcome is accomplished.  Other than the fact that her wrath, as far as I can tell, is limited to the words she says (in other words, I don't think she would ever physically harm someone), her only goal is that she gets her way.

I am required to work closely with this person on a daily basis, so there is no way out of it.  So, God has placed me in these certain circumstances for a reason.  There are people who are aware of the situation and have yet to come to my defense.  I have met with some of those people and, basically, nothing will be done to rectify the situation.  So, it's just me and God.  When this situation started, my attitude to this woman was very ugly.  I was always short with her when we were forced to talk because I just wanted to end the conversation and get back to my work.  Clearly, that wasn't working.  It didn't matter how short I was, the situation never got better and never went away.  I was only showing her that, as a Christ-follower, I was no different than she was in the way I handled myself when I did not get my way.  So, I started praying for her.  It never fails that when I start praying for someone else who I want to see God "fix," I am the one who gets "fixed."  Consequently, God started changing me.  He started with my attitudes, then my speech, then my actions, and, finally, He led me to a complete change of perspective.  With my attitudes, I started being friendly to her all the time, no matter what.  I don't care if she begins the conversation on a positive or negative note, I always have a smile and a positive word to speak to her.  Then, my positive attitude influenced my speech.  I never say anything harsh to her and I try to never be short with her.  Then, with my actions, I started doing things to lead her toward love (Heb. 10:24).  I would take her a cupcake when I baked them and coupons and recipes that I thought she would be interested in.  She always seemed so surprised and she still does today.  Don't get me wrong, I must prepare myself everyday through the Word and putting on the full armor of God, but He gets me through it.

The best part of the entire situation is that God is shining.  I have sat through at least 4 meetings with this particular woman and my superiors at work and in each meeting, I have received some of the worst verbal bashings in my life.  Through the meetings, I would sit in my chair with one leg dangling over the other, my hands folded in my lap, and a smile on my face.  I had the peace of God inside me and I knew my superiors were behind me, regardless if they stopped the abuse or not.  This woman was planning to throw everything she had at me to publicly humiliate me, but so far, I have remained calm.  When I left those meetings, I would always feel beat down.  I always felt alone, like no one was fighting for me and I knew I had done nothing wrong.  I ended up in the bathroom stall one day praying and crying, but God changed my heart that day.  Since then, nothing that woman has said or done has bothered me.

Today, I see her differently.  I realized that I am not going to change her.  Nothing I do or say or think or pray will change her--only God can do that.  Once I really internalized that, my job was to show her Jesus's love and pour it on her every chance I could.  The results have been amazing.  God has shown up and worked in the lives of the people around me.  The woman is still the same, although she acts surprised now when she can't get the best of me, but more importantly, God has made an impact on the people's lives who watched me in those meetings.  On more than one occasion, they have come up to me and told me how proud, impressed, and amazed they were at my reactions.  They looked up to me.  My superiors were learning from me, what God was doing in and through me.  I now realize that I must be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10) and let Him fight my battles (Exodus 14:14).  Ultimately, if I profess before others to be a Christ-followers, then my attitudes, actions, and speech reflect and point to Him and I want Him to receive all the glory, no matter what my circumstances are (Philippians 1:27).

We've Got Things the Around Way Wrong...uh, the Wrong Way Around

I am a devoted fan of the hit reality tv show "The Biggest Loser."  Often, on that show as the contestants describe themselves and their lives, specifically their journeys to obesity, I hear them say that it was due to the fact that they put everyone else in their lives first.  Then, I hear them describe their time on the Biggest Loser ranch as their time to focus on them.  They usually say that when they get back home, they are going to stop putting themselves last and start focusing on themselves.  

Those statements always bother me when I hear them and, for years now, I've wondered why, but I couldn't figure it out.  I couldn't figure out why a statement that sounds so wonderful would not sit well with me.  While everyone on the show praises the contestants for their new look on life and their new "me first" mentality, I just couldn't get behind it.

This weekend, while I was out shopping, I saw a picture frame for sale that had a picture of a generic happy family in it and on the border, the phrase "it's all about us" was etched in the wood in a repetitious pattern around the frame.  Then, I realized how Satan so subtlely slips those little self-centered thoughts and attitudes into our brains.  I understand the picture frame; I get the concept.  The concept of the picture frame is to love our families and, as long as we love each other and focus on our own family, we'll be all right.  We don't have to reach out to others or grow outside of our comfort zone, but if we stick together, we will thrive.

Jesus taught us to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, Love your neighbor as yourself" (Luke 10:27).  Nowhere does He say to love ourselves.  God did not put us on this earth to love ourselves; Jesus did not die for us so that we could love ourselves.  We are here to first love and serve God, then love and serve others.  So if, for instance, the contestants on "The Biggest Loser" truly became obese because they were so focused on others, then the problem does not lie within them, but in the other people in their lives.  It's not the contestants who need to change their paradigms, but the people around them who need to change.  You see, if we are truly living God's model for our lives and we're taking care of others' needs before our own, then our needs will get met because the people who care about us will meet our needs while we meet the needs of others.  So, the solution is not to start caring about and focusing on ourselves, but that the people around us need to change their focus and the only way they will change their focus is if they see it modeled in us.

Granted, our needs will not always be met by the people in our lives.  While He was on earth, Jesus served others, while all we did was take.  That may be the case for you.  You may feel like you give and give and give, while others just take and take and take, and that may very well be your reality.  However, if we are truly living selfless lives and our reliance is on God, then He will meet all our needs as He promises in Philippians 4:19.

Because I grew up in the American culture, the "me first" mentality has been etched in my brain and I fight it every day.  Every day, there is an internal battle about putting my needs over others' needs.  I have to continually fight against my flesh to push out all the selfishness that lies within, no matter how little or how much is there.  God doesn't want any selfishness to be there.  We can't get caught up in society's emphasis on self.  Instead, we need to try that much harder to model a selfless life so that others will change their perspectives.  If we are all living to meet others' needs, then our needs will be met in the process.

ForGIVEness

We have all been wronged by someone at some time.  We will more than likely be wronged by someone again some time in the future.  On the flipside, we have all wronged someone else, too, and probably will again before we leave this earth.  We are not perfect creatures--far from it, actually.  We live in a world of sin; therefore, we will not always do good.  Do we wrong people on purpose?  Some people do, of course, but most of the time, people don't do it purposefully.  I know I don't intentionally do wrong to others, but sometimes it comes across that way.

In Matthew 18: 21-35, Peter asks Jesus how many times we should forgive people.  In response, Jesus tells a story of a master who mercifully wiped away the debt of his servant and let him go without paying what he owed his master.  Later, the same servant, who had been forgiven of his debt, found a fellow servant who owed him money.  The fellow servant begged the man to be patient with him and he would eventually pay him back, but the servant refused and threw his neighbor into jail.  When the master heard about what his servant did after the master had forgiven him of his debt, he called the servant wicked because he showed no mercy on a man who owed him money, when his own debt was cancelled for him.  Consequently, the master threw the servant into jail to be tortured until he could pay back his debt.

No one owes us anything.  If we go through life and relationships with expectations, we will continually feel let down and wronged because no one can live up to others' expectations all the time.  But, if we enter relationships with a merciful spirit and with the knowledge that Jesus paid our ultimate debt on the cross, then we will view people's actions much differently.  We must treat people as if they're on our team and not against us, even if we feel that they have wronged us.  Yes, people do it intentionally, but most of the time, they don't mean to; they don't do it maliciously.  Even if they do wrong us intentionally, their debt is not ours to pay.  Their sins are against God, not us.  He will take care of their wrongs.  Our only job is to do what Jesus commands us in Matthew when He says to not only forgive our brothers and sisters seven times, but seventy-seven times, or as many times as necessary.  In reference to the master throwing the servant into jail to be tortured, Jesus says, " 'This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart' " (Matthew 18:35).

Until Jesus returns, people will continue to sin.  The two things we need to know about this fact is that, first and foremost, "our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" (Ephesians 6:12).  When we don't forgive others, Satan is winning the battle because we are fighting against each other.  The other thing we need to know about the fact that people will continue to sin is that when it happens to us, we need to mercifully forgive the person(s) involved.  It doesn't matter if we think they deserve our forgiveness or even whether they seek it.  We didn't deserve Jesus's forgiveness, nor did we seek it, but He gave it freely.  And not just freely, He gave it LOVINGLY.  So, when we forgive our neighbors, our family members, friends, co-workers, and everyone else, we do it lovingly and not begrudgingly.  We do it with the love of Christ.

I know that if the people in my life didn't forgive me, I wouldn't have any relationships.  This is my prayer for my life, that it would be marked by forgiveness and mercy.  People don't realize what they are doing, the true impact of their sin, or even the need for a Savior.  That's why it is so important for us to continually show God's love and mercy and pour it out on everyone around us....they desperately need to see it in action!

Nontraditional Ministry

Ministry doesn't always appear in obvious forms.  I mentioned in a previous post that God has radically shifted my paradigm.  I am naturally a goal-oriented person.  It's okay to be goal-oriented, but it was causing problems for me and my relationships because I was completely goal-oriented.  I put completing tasks before people, even my own family, so God began to change me so I could be more effective for His kingdom.  On one of my runs toward the beginning of the summer, I saw a bolt in the middle of an intersection.  I didn't think anything about it; I just kept running.  Then, gradually, God would put more and more bolts in my path until the thought finally hit me that they could cause someone a flat tire.  I didn't notice it before because I was on a run--that was my goal.  Nothing else mattered.  But God has used those bolts to help change my outlook.  It is more important for me to stop and throw the bolt out of the intersection to save someone's tire than for me to continue running just to accomplish a goal that has nothing to do with anyone but myself.  Still, on my runs God continues to test my commitment to my new paradigm by putting bolts in my path.  I have to choose to stop for just a couple of seconds to pick up the bolt and toss it to the side of the road.  I don't know where the bolts come from, but they are always there when I exercise.

Serving Others

I work in a service position as a teacher; I live in a service position as a wife, mother, and neighbor; and I volunteer in a service position at my church.  Needless to say, you would think I would be an expert servant and have an overflowing servant’s heart, which is why God placed me in those roles…not in the least.  I love it when God’s creativity and sense of humor shine in my life, but I hate it when I don’t realize it until way later than I should have.  I will begin my sixth year of teaching this month, I just celebrated four wonderful years of marriage to my husband, I have lived among my neighbors for three years, and I have served in my church for just a couple of months and I just recently realized how little serving I’ve actually done.  Most of those activities, if I am brutally honest with myself, has been self-serving.  The sad part is, during that time period I actually believed that I was doing what God called me to do.  I actually believed that I was truly serving the people around me.  Don’t get me wrong, God has truly called me to each one of those roles and He did use me to bring glory to Himself, but did I allow Him to use me to my full potential, without any strings attached, and exponentially affect His kingdom?  No; how could He when I was so self-absorbed and thought I had all the answers?  How can He use someone who already knows it all and has preconceived notions about what the people around her need, instead of really paying attention and listening to their needs as the Word directs me in Proverbs 27:23?  And the person who has suffered the greatest loss in those situations is me.  God will accomplish His purpose in the lives of the people I’m serving.  His plans will be completed in my students’ lives, my family, my neighbors’ homes, and in my church.  If I didn’t meet their needs, He will send someone who will meet their needs, but I have missed out on huge blessings.  I have missed out on growth--true growth, growth that causes me to expand my wings and live outside my comfort zone, taking risks for God’s kingdom. 

            I have received countless numbers of compliments on my teaching strategies and methods from my students, colleagues, administrators, parents, and neighbors.  I was awarded Teacher of the Year for my school after only one year of teaching under my belt.  Yet, I’m not bringing attention to that fact to brag on my abilities, but to emphasize that I had no clue what I was doing.  I write that to showcase what a flawless job God does in accomplishing His plans through such a weak and unworthy vessel like myself.  I used to view people and my service to them as a checklist.  Consequently, I was serving them, but I was serving them based on a list of needs that I thought they had and answers I thought they required.  I would meet a certain need that “a student like that needs” or a “person with that kind of life needs.”  I have learned that when I enter into a situation or a relationship in that manner, where I think I already have a diagnosis for each person, I miss out on meeting their actual needs, then both of us walk away from the situation confused, frustrated, and sometimes with bad feelings toward the other person.

            I recently taught a student who was the “intelligent, but lazy and the class clown type,” the type of student who had a reading level that was well above grade level, the potential to make exceedingly high grades, and the ability to be a strong and effective leader in the classroom.  But I sized him up during the first week of school.  I thought he fit into that category.  What I later learned was that it was not that at all.  This particular student would read novels and participate in “fun” activities, but when it came to writing essays or completing individual classroom assignments, he just shut down and I thought it was because he was lazy and didn’t feel like writing.  My husband and I also happen to be friends with his family, and as I occasionally observed his activities, God finally put the pieces together and everything clicked.  He wasn’t lazy at all; he plays sports, he washes his family’s vehicles religiously, and he helps his family with home projects.  He is very active.  One night, as my husband was participating in some self-reflection of his own, he shared that one reason why he doesn’t like walking or running for exercise is because he can’t see that he has accomplished anything once he’s finished.  He doesn’t get immediate results and he needs those results to encourage and motivate him to keep going.  Then it hit me; the light bulb came on.  Similarly, this student I “taught” is wired the same way.  He enjoys those types of hands-on activities because he can see instant improvement and he can see that he has accomplished a goal.  When it comes to reading and writing, improvement and success take time and it’s difficult to see immediate improvement.  Sometimes, you have to rewrite a paper five times before you actually get it “right,” then someone else proofreads it and you realize you have still made mistakes, but it was my job to make that connection with him and provide opportunities for him to see success and I didn’t do it.  From an outsider’s perspective, the student did well overall in the class, finishing the semester with a high B average, but I could have created opportunities for him so that He could excel far beyond that average.  So, although he was a student in my classroom, he taught me a lesson I will never forget and that will benefit a multitude of students long after he has left my classroom.

            It’s my job to leave footprints on my students’ lives and to help them achieve success, but when I size my students up without actually getting to the root of who they are and when I try to fit them in a box with a certain label, I will always fail.  They are not objects; they are not manufactured; and they do not come with an answer key.  The same thing is true in every area I serve.  I cannot face my family, neighbors, friends, colleagues, church, or community thinking I have all the answers and if they don’t benefit from my answers, then there’s something wrong with them because it’s just not true.  I realize that I have been brutally and openly honest in this post, but that’s what this blog is for.  God has truly given me a paradigm shift that I am now held accountable for and will do my best to implement in every area of service.  As He says in Proverbs 27:23, I will strive to truly and accurately “know the condition of my flocks, [and] give careful attention to my herds.”

Patiently or Impatiently Waiting?

Waiting.  We wait in line.  We wait on food.  We wait on others to do their jobs so we can do ours.  And we hate it, or at least I do.  I hate waiting.  It seems that most of my life is spent waiting.  When it comes to waiting on something God has promised, I feel a little bit differently about the process.  A small part of me still doesn't enjoy it because I can't always see the final product, but the rest of me rejoices in several aspects of waiting on God's timing.  First, when the final product or end goal finally happens, it is perfect and more than I could ever ask for or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).  It is always immeasurably more than anything I prayed for or thought of, like my husband, my daughter, my job, and so many other blessings in my life that are too many to count.  Secondly, I know that it's in the waiting process that God prepares me for His next step in my life.  Just because I believe I am ready for a particular event or circumstance to occur doesn't mean I am fully prepared for it and I thank God that He knows what needs to change in me before I am ready (Matthew 6:8).  As much as I want that particular thing to happen, I would not want to enter into it unprepared.  Additionally, the waiting process strengthens me in every area--physically, emotionally, and spritually (Psalm 27:14).  It forces me to rely on the real Promise Keeper.  His Word says that He loves to pour blessings on His children (Proverbs 10:6).  I may not like waiting, but I know that He can make things happen and fulfill desires in my life unlike anything I could ever do on my own.  Also, the waiting process allows me to take my hands off of the situation and just sit back while serving and worshiping Him.  There's nothing I can do to make the situation happen any sooner, so why not just sit back and watch God move?  Next, it teaches me to be less selfish and self-centered; it helps me focus on people around me and meeting their needs.  Lastly, it means I am blessed (Isaiah 30:18)--there is blessing in the waiting!  What an awesome promise--I get to be blessed while I wait and when the waiting is over...it's a win/win situation!

I believe that there are several things we can do as a Christ-follower while we wait on God's promises to come into fruition.  We can

Worship God with thanksgiving (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
Attend to others' needs (serve others)
Immerse ourselves in the Word (Psalm 130:5)
Talk (and listen) to God constantly (1 Thessalonians 5:17)